Why I’ve Decided on Independence

Well, hello, blog. Don’t worry, I haven’t totally forgotten you.

I have, however, been changing things for myself this semester. I’ve been doing something novel – focusing on me. Is it strange? Is it out of the ordinary? Not in the slightest, and yet it seems like so many women would rather focus on finding themselves a husband than perfecting who they see in the mirror.

In the time that has past since my last blog post, I have changed an amazing amount of things in my life. I’ve moved into a new apartment, and I now have 3 roommates. I’ve gone inactive from my sorority, and instead gotten a job. I have a couple offers on the horizon for other promising things, none of which I’ve decided whether or not I actually want to pursue, and I’ve gotten my grades up. I’ve decided to save up to see my grandmother in Poland again, after 7 years. All of which, I’ve managed to do with only a couple girlfriends by my side and without a man on my arm. Or in my bed.

I’m not disparaging the girls who have boyfriends. Or the girls who want boyfriends. Or the boys who want boyfriends, or the boys who want girlfriends, or the girls who have girlfriends… You see my point. That’s all fine and dandy, and I will happily attend your wedding should you decide that’s what suits you. But to the girls who are pining – who are longing for a companion or some sort, even if it’s just for one night, I urge you to take a  step back. Think about all the other things you could be focusing your energy on (ladies, relationships consume more energy than you can even imagine and the period before that is even worse, don’t try to deny it). Think about all the amazing things you could accomplish in the time you spend stalking your Starbucks barista on any and every form of social media. Even if you spend your time watching a movie instead, or eating a cake, or doing something that seems like it’s no better use of your time, you did it for yourself. You didn’t do it to impress another person, or to get the guy…or the ring in the little blue box.

Dye your hair. Pierce your nose. Take a class outside your interest. Instead of looking for someone to fall in love with you, fall in love with your life and the world around you. Take in every breath of the fall air and decide which smell is your favorite. Enjoy having your bed all to yourself, and spread out in it. You will have more than enough time in your life to have someone next to you.

Is it a cliche to choose to love yourself before loving someone else? Oh, absolutely. I don’t know if everyone actually follows the advice though. Or even thinks about it, for that matter. But I promise, in the last couple of weeks, the feeling of freedom and possibility in my life has been more intoxicating than my roommate’s punch is on friday nights. And that, my friends, is a good feeling indeed.

I’ll try to start blogging again, I promise. Until then, I recommend unfollowing anything “singlegirlprobs” or “tomyfuturehubby” or God know whats else on Twitter. You’re doing yourself a favor.

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